that time I just needed a hug

12.8.15

When things don't go to plan most people's first instinct is to turn to their partner for some much-needed sympathy, advice, guidance and a great big hug. In long distance relationships, it's just the same... just minus the hug.


Yesterday I had some not-so-great news. It wasn't anything life changing but basically it was unexpected and throws up a whole heap of variables that now need to be seriously considered at a time when I'm also dealing with moving interstate.

All I wanted was a hug from my boyfriend and for him to tell me it was all going to be OK. He certainly did the latter but the hug part is kind of difficult from almost 1000km away.

"Not having someone that you care about close to you, especially when you might need them for emotional support (or a hug!) can be tough," says website reachout.com.

"If you are feeling this way, you might ask for a hug from another friend or family member. Even though it’s not the same, it can sometimes be a good substitute until next time you meet up."

It might sound stupidly obvious but dealing with the actual physical distance that a long distance relationship imposes is one of the biggest challenges of being apart from your loved one for long periods of time.

Writer and long distance relationship survivor Pixie Casey says no matter how long you've been doing the long distance thing, there'll still be those tough days.

"There will be days when dealing with all of this is easy: you’ll both be busy, you’ll have a sweet phone call, and you’ll feel good about things," she writes for Rookie.

"And then there will be the hard days when you need a hug, when the phone call ends in tears, or when you simply doubt what you’re doing. Be prepared to be lonely, to crave physical contact, to get frustrated that things can’t be easier, and to miss someone more than you’ve ever missed anything in your life."

But all of this doesn't necessarily mean on those tough days (like yesterday) you should sit around feeling sorry for yourself. One of the best cures for absolutely anything is a laugh and one of the things I love the most about my boyfriend is he can make me smile even if I'm in the world's worst mood (and believe me, my moods can be pretty bad).



Last night he called me on Face Time and we chatted, laughed and pulled silly faces - it made me feel better instantly.

I think the fact we're leading independent lives for now is actually making us stronger because we both know how to exist both with and without the other.

"That is one of the benefits of an LDR: you can take the time to figure yourself out, as can your partner, and if the world brings you back to the same spot and you evolve together, then you’re both better for it," says Pixie.

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