wish you were here

15.7.15

Today is my birthday and one of the worst things about being in a long distance relationship is that I don't get to spend it with the person I love.

Just a few weeks into our relationship, we managed to be together for our first Christmas and we also swung it so we were in the same city for Valentine's Day and his birthday earlier this year. So today is the first special occasion we've had to spend apart and it's making me miss him even more than usual. Those tears that plagued me when we said goodbye two days ago have resurfaced with a vengeance.



Missing your long distance love on days like today isn't unexpected - I knew today was going to be tough but I can't help but feel like a bit of a downer. Before I left him a few days ago, I was presented with my first birthday present - a gorgeous new bike complete with detachable basket. My friends and family are aware of how much I'm missing my boyfriend today and I know they'll also make a special effort to make me feel loved. But to be honest I feel as though no matter how much fun I have and how spoilt I am with gifts and cake, something will be missing.

Despite the fact our relationship is still relatively new (7 months and going strong), my boyfriend has quickly become a very important part of my life and, I guess, of me. I can't imagine a future without him in it and am looking forward to the day we can finally call the same city home - which now seems a lot closer than ever.

If one good thing has come from the emotional roller coaster that has been the past three days it's that we've agreed on an end-date to the long distance part of our relationship. Yep, we've set the date, so to speak! The countdown is on and I honestly feel as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

My shiny new bike - a birthday present from my boyfriend!
Through the oceans of tears, the thought suddenly dawned on me: "Why am I doing this to myself? When the one thing that will make me happy is to be in the same city as my boyfriend, then what am I doing here all alone?".

Don't get me wrong, I'm under no illusion that moving cities, leaving my job and saying goodbye my friends and family, will be as easy as packing a suitcase and heading off into the sunset. But I also know that life's too short to be miserable or, more importantly, not to take a few risks. I mean really, what am I waiting for?

Recently, a friend was unexpectedly diagnosed with a serious illness and, as these things tend to do, it made me reassess my priorities and think about what's really important in life.

So yesterday afternoon I consulted my calendar and tried to outline a schedule that would work for both of us. I came up with a date in the (very) foreseeable future and, right now, that's the goal we're both working to. I know things might not go exactly to plan with jobs etc., but it's amazing what having an end-date in mind can do for morale.

Of course, I'm still disappointed we can't be together today but just knowing we will be together soon will make today that little bit easier. Miss you sweetheart!

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