when he makes you want to be a better person

12.9.15

I'll admit it, I'm pretty happy with the type of person I am. Sure, I could make some improvements here and there but generally I reckon I've done OK for myself in the 38 years I've been on this planet.

I've lived alone for eight years (and am completely happy in my own company), I have a good job, a great set of friends, a close relationship with my family. I think I'm pretty in touch with my emotions, I can express myself with confidence and I'm not afraid to stand up for what I believe in.



In the past nine months, though, I've found myself wanting to become a better version of me. That's what happens when you fall in love with someone who inspires you - you find yourself challenged and motivated to be and do more. Basically, I want to improve.

My struggles adapting to changing situations have been well documented on this blog and, in the past, I'm pretty sure I would have either avoided the situation entirely or, if change was forced upon me, I would have swept all those overwhelming feelings under the carpet until they went away.

But this week I visited a counsellor for the second time in as many months to try to work through these feelings I'm experiencing and try to find practical ways to respond when I find myself overwhelmed by any kind of change.

And I did it because I want to be a better version of me - both for myself (of course) and also for my boyfriend.

Writer Laura Argintar, on the website Elite Daily, says this about falling in love with someone who makes you a better person: "I want a man who will enliven me," she writes. "Someone who’s going to push my boundaries, introduce me to places I’ve never heard of and embolden me to do the unimaginable because he genuinely believes I can. If he inspires me like that, then the rest will come naturally."

"There’s a reason artists fall in love with their muses. They build you up and make you strive to be your best self."


Personally, I think I'm pretty lucky to have found someone who makes me want to improve myself - imagine if we all just plodded through life satisfied with the status quo. Life certainly wouldn't be very exciting.

Here’s five reasons why you should fall in love with someone who exhilarates you:

They introduce you to new places, people and things

This time last year, I would have been the first to tell you I wouldn't want to live anywhere but Sydney. It's my hometown and not much beast a stroll around the Harbour on a sunny Sunday afternoon. Fast forward though and here I am about to move north to live in Brisbane - and I couldn't be happier about it. I know an interstate move isn't going to be on the cards for everyone who falls in love but it doesn't have to be that extreme. "Someone who inspires you brings a sense of awe into your life, even when it’s as small as showing you the secret spot for the best wings in the city," says Laura.

They challenge you

There are times when my boyfriend's attention to details drives me crazy - and that's coming from the most Type A of Type A's there is. But the fact he won’t automatically go into “yes mode” when I ask him for an honest opinion is a sign he won't let me get away with mediocrity. "This is someone who cares about you enough to tell you the hard truths that you can’t tell yourself," says Laura.

They help you achieve your goals

The right partner won't stand in your way no matter what it is you want to achieve. They understand your personal happiness is just as paramount as their own.

They motivate you to dream bigger and do better

"The right person will push you to be a better person without directly putting pressure on you," says Laura. It's true, my boyfriend is a great incentive for me to do better than I did yesterday. He is constantly challenging me to do better and he's also the one who inspires me to think a little bigger. "When you connect with this person, their investment in you means that you will be motivated to constantly strive to go beyond what you think you are capable of," says Laura.

They're exciting

There’s no such thing as boring in our relationship — even if we're staying in and watching TV something always seems to happen to have us laughing, talking or even debating. There's really no telling what our time together will bring.. and I love it like that.

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