learning to think positive

by - September 10, 2015

I am about to make a major life change and I'm truly so, so excited about it. A new life in a new city with my boyfriend in our brand new home is just around the corner (37 days around the corner in fact). So why do I feel so sad all the time?

The past few days have been an absolute nightmare for me emotionally. I miss my boyfriend terribly and that isolating feeling of loneliness has really started to creep in. I hate feeling this way and know it's only weeks until we'll be together full-time - but it's like I can't switch it off no matter how hard I try and it's driving me crazy.

My boyfriend and I have been together since December and in a long distance relationship since April. We've never had a shortage of things to talk about in those long late night phone chats... until this week when our usual can't-shut-us-up chats have been replaced with stilted conversation about our plans for the following day. Hardly the stuff you would expect a couple who are just weeks away from the rest of their lives to be talking about.

My positive attitude has been replaced with a very foreign feeling and it's been increasingly difficult to keep my usually-upbeat front going. My boyfriend has, unsurprisingly, noticed and told me last night that it's difficult keeping up a conversation with me when I keep telling him how much I'm missing him. Rough, huh? For the record, I don't think I've told him that many times but the thing is, I wholeheartedly agree with him. My rational self knows all this 'negative Nancy' carry-on isn't doing me any favours so I've resolved to get to the bottom of why I feel this way.

I really think it's a combination of a whole load of things but at it's root is the fact is that I'm about to move 1000km away from my family and friends and take a chance on a relationship that, in reality, is still in its infancy.

My track record with relationships isn't that great. My heart has been broken a few times so I really think the poor old thing has gone into protection mode. Despite the fact that I love my boyfriend very much, am 100% committed to making this work and know that I want to be with him for the rest of our lives, I'm now questioning every single move I'm making. Yes, that's right our old friend self doubt has arrived ladies and gentlemen and it looks as though he's brought that not-so-elusive character emotional baggage along for the ride.

"Dealing with a unsettling transition may not be easy, but there are ways to keep your sanity intact - and to turn the challenges into opportunities for growth," says Carolyn Gregoire on Huffington Post.

"The most surefire way to make a big change more difficult for yourself is to fight it. Although having a hard time letting go is a natural reaction, a desire live in the past will only cause more pain and prolong the adjustment period. Instead of dwelling on what you're leaving behind, focus on getting through the change right now and creating a positive future. In order to do that successful, you must first accept the reality that your life will no longer be the same."

Wise words indeed Carolyn.

I also know I need to find that old positivity again and focus on the long-term goal (or 37 day goal!) of my boyfriend and I being together. Simple, right?

"Events and situations aren't inherently good or bad - we just project those descriptions onto them," says Carolyn. "This means that we have a great deal of power over how we choose to view whatever comes our way - deciding to focus on the positive is a powerful way to take charge in your life."

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